Drabbly Things
by Kelly Holden
Summary: Collection of 100 word drabbles and strict variations from the lives of Artemis, Holly and their friends and family. Mostly implied A/H, some mild adult themes, unless stated otherwise belong to a single continuity. This update begins chapter 38.
1. Paedomorphosis, AN for drabbles 1 to 10

**A/N for drabbles 1 to 10.**

**All the drabbles so far, except Why Not Minerva, are in continuity with each other, but mostly stand alone. Pros and Cons, Paedomorphosis, and Venus's Intuition have mild adult themes; Reclamation has some language. Despite the suggestive-sounding title, History in Flesh is actually quite innocent. Why Not Minerva is out of continuity because it's a bit too meta.**

Paedomorphosis

* * *

"Only a paedophile would want to date an _imp_," she spat, and he slunk away.

No 1 knew he would be imp-shaped his whole, entire life. Demon warlock neotony was such an inconvenience, a hassle, a pain in the arse. Only people who knew him understood he wasn't a child, and he recognised, was aware, that most of those saw him as barely pubescent, not a young adult. Other difficulties he could accept, but he was a young male with a lot of love to give, and every female Demon he met wanted to mother him, not D'Arvit him.

* * *

**Because I seriously wonder how well Colfer thought the "demon warlocks look like kids their whole lives" thing through, cute as it is.**


	2. History in Flesh

History in Flesh

* * *

Her lips had insulted him, informed him, kissed him; his lips had insulted her, informed her, and kissed her. Her hands had punched him, healed him, caressed him; his hands had captured her, healed her, caressed her. Her eyes had looked on him with hate, with pity, with friendship, with love; his eyes had seen her with cold scientific curiosity, with the earliest hints of lust, with friendship, with love; between friendship and love, they'd swapped one. Her belly bore the marks of their child, his a little rounder now with age. Their shared history was a part of them.


	3. Changes

Changes

* * *

Theresa was a tomboy, so it wasn't a surprise when she decided to go into the LEP. Nor was it a surprise that she quickly acquired a rather masculine nickname when she began the Academy. It was rather strange that most of her classmates thought she was a boy, but even in school People had thought that. Theresa's mother cried the day Theresa came home for break with stubble and name-change paperwork. 'Theresa' wanted to cry when he thought he wasn't going to get it through in time. Both mother and son were damp-eyed at _Trouble Kelp's_ graduation.

* * *

**A) Slight plot spackle for the inconsistency of whether Trouble Kelp chose the name Trouble when entering or graduating the LEP academy, ie I've got him choosing it at the beginning and legally adopting it for graduation. B) Partly inspired by somebody's drabble about his birth name being embarrassing, I thought 'what if he had a bigger secret?', and it went from there.**


	4. Privilege

Privilege

* * *

Artemis was privileged in every way: straight, white, not disabled, cisgender, male, and upper class.

Not so those he loved. Mother, Holly, Juliet and Minerva were all female. Butler and Juliet were Eurasian and working class. Holly was bisexual, and looked like a Black person with dwarfism to human eyes. Minerva and her girl wanted to get married but couldn't in France. Father was an amputee. Beckett was dyslexic. His sibling born Myles was now named Melissa. Foaly was a quadruped in a society built for bipeds.

It was their affection, not sociological privilege, he felt truly privileged to have.


	5. Pros and Cons

Pros and Cons

* * *

"Oh, you're so big, Artemis," Foaly said breathily in what seemed meant to be a parody of her voice when she walked into the control room. Holly was certain she'd never said that; Artemis had taken offence when she'd said something similar their first time.

"If you're going to mock me, please 'quote' things I'd actually say," she told him.

Foaly screwed up his nose. "I don't _listen_, Caballine wouldn't like that."

She thought of Artemis's voice getting soft and deep on the other end of the line. Communicator sex had one _big_ down side, but there were definite compensations.


	6. Reclamation

Reclamation

**Direct follow-on from Privilege, will make little sense otherwise.**

* * *

Minerva's partner Amelie called herself a 'dyke'. So did Holly, sometimes. Minerva used 'chapstick lesbian'. Mum once shocked him by using the C-word in an anatomical sense. Juliet used 'bitch' to mean assertive. Father occasionally described himself as a 'gimp'. Melissa cheerfully self-described as a 'tranny'. His daughter Flora had even come home from school using a variant of the N-word for herself, though Aunt Melissa had 'helpfully' pointed out that she didn't have any African blood at all, let alone African-American.

He loved them all, but he didn't understand _why_ they'd want to insult themselves.

* * *

**One of the troubles with all that privilege is difficulty comprehending the spirit of reclamation. : :whistles innocently: :**


	7. Enginn Latur í Latabæ

Enginn Latur í Latabæ

* * *

It figured that even when Myles had an age-appropriate interest he'd find some way to make it complicated. Not only was Íþróttaálfurinn apparently a more interesting character than Sportacus, despite looking and acting exactly the same way, but after a few weeks of watching Latibær instead, he had stopped speaking English to them. Arty was working on learning Icelandic, but all Angeline could work out was she was 'Móðir', and 'íþróttanummi' was vegetables. She had lots of reasons to be thankful for Holly's many fairy gifts, but right now she was the _most_ grateful for the gift of tongues.


	8. Myles Melissa

Myles/Melissa

**Dependant on Privilege and Reclamation**

* * *

Most cisgendered, developmentally average, children can correctly state their sex at three years. Transgendered, developmentally average, children often show the first clear signs of gender variance at this age.

A three-year-old boy-shaped genius is more likely to say, "Artemis, are you aware of the phenomenon of transsexuality? I think that may apply to me," than claim to be a princess.

And even a rational, genius, older brother, who is aware most current theories on transgender believe it to be fixed at birth, is likely to panic and tell the child they're too young to know such things.


	9. Why Not Minerva?

Why Not Minerva?

**The one that isn't in continuity with the rest.**

* * *

"Why not Minerva?" his father asked. Artemis smiled. "She's too young."

"Why not Minerva?" Butler asked. Artemis kept typing. "It was only physical attraction. She's merely an intriguing companion."

"Why not Minerva?" Juliet asked. Artemis handed her Myles. "Because she's blonde."

"Why not that girl we rescued the imp from?" Mulch asked. Artemis shrugged. "Because I don't want to."

"Why not Minerva?" Holly asked. Artemis's heart broke. "She reminds me too much of my younger self."

"Why not Minerva?" the author asked. Artemis said condescendingly, "because you _created_ Holly and me to complete each other. You just didn't know then."

* * *

**Ok, that was sappy, and I think the original half-drabble version was better, but I can't remember exactly how it went now.**


	10. Venus's Intuition

Venus's Intuition

* * *

Holly hadn't shaved before. Artemis had been too caught up in her body's other features to notice during their first time, but some questions when he noticed afterwards made it clear female fairies in general didn't, she had no intention of revealing those body parts, and if _Artemis_ minded, too bad. Once she moved to the surface, this stance didn't last long in the face of human fashion, her already shaky ability to fit in up here, and Juliet and Mother's determination to _help_ her. Flora never even questioned that she would shave, treating it with the inevitability of menarche.


	11. Memetics

Memetics

**Half-drabble**

* * *

"That takes the cake," said Butler.

Juliet snorted. "That takes forty cakes."

"That's as many as four tens," Melissa piped up,

"and that's _terrible_," Juliet finished.

"I can has cheeseburger?" Beckett asked the waiter politely.

Artemis looked over the menu at them in surprise. Whatever _were_ they going on about?

* * *

**Lex Luthor stole 40 cakes. At least LOLcats ask first.**


	12. Anniversary

Anniversary

* * *

It wasn't terribly dramatic. Holly forgave Artemis eventually, but knew he was still too young. Artemis knew Holly had sensible reasons why not that had nothing to do with the betrayal.

Neither pushed, for or away, they just drifted into it. Kisses on the cheek took longer, migrated inwards and downwards. Hugs, and hands, began to linger, never _straying_ but no longer chaste.

Neither was entirely sure when they moved from unresolved romantic tension to being together.

It made pinpointing their anniversary difficult, to Holly's relief. She couldn't be blamed for forgetting it if she'd never known to begin with.


	13. Aunt Melissa

Aunt Melissa

**A more-or-less Myles-centric series of 5. Continuity dependant. The second and fourth are 150 words, the third, 200.**

* * *

Myles (or Melissa) was 10 when Holly got pregnant. Holly was at 50 weeks' gestation, and wearing one of Mum's old maternity shirts as a dress, when Melissa (or Myles) walked into the room, burst into tears, and ran out again. Artemis went after her, but she was too fast, despite having left her Iceland-crazy phase behind years ago.

He found her later, still teary, but resigned.

"I won't ever ..." she started to explain.

"If anyone can fix that, it's you," Artemis replied, kissing the top of her head, "and I'm sure Flora will just love her Aunt Melissa."

* * *

Flora was almost three months old by the time she and Holly were well enough to return to the surface. Artemis was wearing a hole in the carpet by pacing, waiting for Juliet to return from Tara (Melissa didn't officially know, but it was _obvious_) with them. Finally, there were tyres on the gravel.

"Artemis, this is our daughter, Flora."

"She's beautiful."

"Must favour my side."

"That's _Beckett's_ nose. And ... " he gasped, "oh, Holly, she's got _our_ eyes."

Practically as soon as they got inside, Flora was handed off to Juliet.

"I haven't seen my girlfriend in nearly five months," Artemis pointed out to the world in general, and they disappeared up the stairs.

"I really didn't need to know that," Juliet said to the empty staircase.

Melissa looked past Juliet's elbow at Flora, and her brother's exclamation made more sense. Flora had the same heterochromia as Holly and Artemis.

* * *

"How could she have inherited _acquired_ heterochromia?" Melissa asked Minerva over the phone later that day.

"It isn't an abnormality, as heterochromia usually is. I haven't been allowed to learn enough to even pretend to understand, you should ask one of their experts."

"Like I'd be allowed _either_. I only know they _exist_ because Holly lives here. They weren't allowed to unmesmer Dad until the day she moved in."

"Since when do Fowls follow the rules?" Minerva asked, a little mockingly. "I'm sure your brother's files are only _properly_ protected against outside attack."

That was a point, they probably were.

They weren't. Melissa didn't even realise she'd been caught until she looked up to find Artemis leaning beside the ancient poster of Stephanie and Trixie on the back of the door.

"Minerva might be our friend, but you can't trust her further than you can throw her. She doesn't mean any harm, but for the safety of the People that information cannot be leaked. Your computer isn't nearly as well-protected as mine, which I don't doubt she knew and was planning to use." He turned it off and took it. "I trust you have back-ups of _your_ work."

* * *

When Flora was just under a year old, Commander Kelp visited them. He, Artemis, and Holly talked for a while in the fairy language, which was boring, but Melissa didn't leave the room. If they were going to be rude and speak in a language she didn't know in front of her, they could just put up with her being there.

"Who's the child?" he eventually asked them in English.

"Melissa. She's Artemis's sister."

"I thought you had two brothers, Fowl. Myles and Beckett, wasn't it?" He then cast her an appraising look. She squirmed, sure he could tell. Wondered if she'd tucked properly, padded her bra enough. Nobody had told her to expect visitors, after all.

"That's Myles," Holly said, unconcerned. How _dare_ Holly out her to a stranger?

Kelp stood and walked over to her, offered her his hand to shake. " Ég er Trouble Kelp. Ég var Theresa."

* * *

The media kept calling her "transsexual science prodigy, Myles 'Melissa' Fowl", and claiming "he'd" invented male pregnancy. Given that she hadn't been able to get it to work in male test animals whose hormone balance had been altered after puberty, it didn't seem likely to be any use to her 'sisters' who'd transitioned as adults, let alone _men_. 'Male pregnancy' was just a bizarre fanfiction sub-genre, not what she'd accomplished.

It had been rather reckless testing human implementation on herself, but it seemed to be going better than Holly's had. Mum was looking forward to another grandchild to spoil.

* * *

**50 weeks gestation in the first drabble, plus the two months underground pre-partum after that implied in the second are intentional, I figure Fairy pregnancies would take a bit longer.**

**And the Icelandic in the fifth is supposed to say "I'm Trouble Kelp. I was Theresa." I don't actually speak it, just picked a few words up from LazyTown/Latibær fandom, so I may have _totally_ D'Arvitted the second sentence up.**


	14. Justification

Justification

* * *

Holly worried about being attracted to Artemis. Not the awkward interpersonal aspects, but the ephebophilia. Bad enough being attracted to a human without her being attracted to a youngster. Then one day, it occurred to her: adult Pixies look like children to human eyes, which means human children look like adult Pixies. Artemis even had the right colouring. Only _Mulch_ would call her a pervert for wanting to D'Arvit a Pixie that looked like Artemis. Her libido had simply been horribly confused by his brief period of physical adulthood, and the combination of his current pubescence and Pixie-like appearance.

* * *

**Cute as the A/H in TTP is, I _had_ to find a way to justify why she appears to be still physically attracted to him when they return to the present. I remember my little brother being 14. He was cute as a button, but not especially manly. Heck, we were the same shoe size then, and my feet are _tiny _(and he's not exactly a small bloke these days).**


	15. What a Waste

What a Waste

* * *

When Holly was in the final stages of concluding that moving to the surface was the only way her relationship with Artemis could continue, she finally brought up something that had bothered her since before they met: sewage.

Artemis laughed hollowly. "There are compelling reasons we prefer to treat rather than recycle: cholera, typhoid and dysentery are among them. Human faeces spread disease and we don't have magic to protect us; we cannot simply put them on our crops. Our treatment methods could be less wasteful, perhaps, but I doubt we'll abandon use of the water closet any time soon."

* * *

**Because I just re-read book one, and got rather annoyed at Holly for judging us for not having 'fixed' our first decent large-scale solution to what was, and still is in some parts, a _huge _public health problem to her satisfaction. It's all very well and good that _fairies_ can use night soil on their cabbage patches, doesn't mean it's safe for us.**


	16. What's in a Name?

What's in a Name?

* * *

"Could I speak to Mr or Mrs Short, please?" the authoritative voice on the phone asked.

"There is nobody by those names in this household. If you require Flora Short's parents, you want Mr Fowl or Ms Short."

"Mr Fowl or Ms Short, then."

"Speaking."

Flora's headmistress, for it was her, proceeded to explain Flora's latest high-spirited, boredom-induced misdemeanour.

Artemis promised to speak to her when she returned home, and hung up.

He sighed. Couldn't they make a note in Flora's file instead of _repeatedly_ making the same wrong assumption? They'd spoken often enough that she should _remember_.

* * *

**This happened to me as a kid all the freakin' time. Wrong assumptions about parent surnames, that is, not the principal ringing my mum. Also, I realised Flora Fowl sounded totally wrong, and hyphenating the names was _worse_.**


	17. At Midnight

At Midnight

**Some adult themes**

* * *

A hand shook her arm, and she woke with a start, groping for the lamp.

"Oh, Flora," Melissa said. "Why are you here?"

"Had a nightmare."

"Why didn't you visit Mummy and Daddy?"

"I did. They ... Mummy had Daddy tied up!"

Melissa blinked sleepily. "They're playing a game. She wouldn't _hurt_ him."

"Like cops and robbers?"

Melissa worked hard not to laugh. "Something like that. Did you want to sleep here?"

Flora nodded, and climbed in.

Artemis found a terse note on his desk the next day. "Please lock your door when engaging in activities aunts may have difficulty explaining."


	18. Irresponsible I

Irresponsible (I)

**sequel to What's in a Name?**

* * *

"That was irresponsible."

"Yes, Dad."

"I'm serious. Fluffy could have died as a consequence of your actions, and I can't imagine killing the class lizard would make you popular."

Flora snorted. "Half the girls are scared of him. That's why it worked."

"Regardless. Melissa and I went through this too, 'learning' from teachers we're smarter than, and we managed without disrupting the _entire class _regularly."

"No, you were just a crime lord in your spare time."

"I'm not proud of that. You know what it lead me to do."

"I wouldn't exist if you hadn't. So, it all worked out."

* * *

**Poor Fluffy. (He was a rat originally, but I had trouble believing half the girls in a class could still be scared of a cute little domestic rat after extended exposure. So, lizard.)**


	19. Decisions

Decisions

* * *

It wasn't a simple decision. Miss out on practically all the very short life, maybe another seventy years if he was very lucky, of the person she strongly suspected was her soul mate; or completely ruin her career, and quite probably all potential future ones with the huge gap that moving in with him would leave in her work history. Quitting and living fifty or more years among humans; breaking up; or watching him age in the communicator screen, finding ever more signs of age every time she made it to the Manor. It would not be easy to choose.


	20. Irresponsible II

Irresponsible (II)

* * *

"That was irresponsible."

"It was an accident. Nobody knew it was possible," Holly told the healer.

"If you'd come here sooner, _something_ could have been done," she said.

"By _something_ you mean killing her."

"Well, yes. Judging by the size and development of the foetus, it's full-term size will be significantly larger than an elfin baby. Even if you manage to bring it ..."

"Her," Holly interrupted.

"_It_ to term, you may have damaged your fertility. He'll still be alive in twenty years?"

"Humans aren't _that_ short-lived."

"Even if you're all right this time, next time might kill you."

* * *

**I hinted at Holly's pregnancy being medically dangerous in the second Aunt Melissa drabble. Being very strongly pro-choice, and Holly seeming such a feminist character, I did feel strange choosing this characterisation, but on the other hand I can't imagine somebody who, on two separate occasions in the first book alone refused to kill a troll even though her life was in _immediate _danger, deciding to have an abortion. Sorry to anybody confused by the first version of this AN. Hope it's less confusing now.**


	21. On Holiday

On Holiday

**Thought I should write some Beckett. Ended up being less about him than I wanted.**

* * *

Hot sun reflected off snow-white sand, aqua water, and pale bikini-clad girl. Beckett had thought this trip was a great idea before he'd realised he'd be hanging around on the beach with his horribly pasty family. Beckett would not want to be Melissa tomorrow, even if she _was_ wearing half a bottle of sunblock.

Flora was sitting in the shade close to the sand, yelling sandcastle directions to Mum. Holly was back in the hotel; even covered up this sun was too much for a proper fairy. He wondered if that was why Australia had no fairy myths.

* * *

**By 'Australia' here, I mean in Indigenous Australians' myths. There are plenty _now_ because the White population brought them with us. At least, there are none I've seen or heard of, even after a Google, except for a single nebulous claim that Yowies are fairies that I found approximately 8 pages in.**


	22. Surfer Girl

Surfer Girl

**Second attempt to write more Beckett, sequel to On Holiday, double drabble. Beckett/OFC. Written in class and therefore MS Word, where the word count works slightly differently to my usual OpenOffice Writer.**

* * *

She tried something tricky-looking, got dumped, stood up laughing, and grabbed her board to leave the water finally. Beckett had been watching her for a good half-hour, despite his original intention to swim, or at least paddle.

He panicked when she headed straight for him, but she just propped her surfboard up and dropped to the sand beside him with a friendly "Hey."

"Hello?" he replied, wondering if she'd mistaken him for someone she knew.

"I'm Annalise, 'm from Wreck Bay." She waved her hand in a vaguely southerly direction.

"Beckett. From Dublin." He gestured to the north and inland in imitation.

"Seriously? Wow. I didn't think _proper_ tourists came here, just Sydneysiders, 'n' stuff."

"My sister and I wanted to go to the Gold Coast; my older brother said he was only coming if we went somewhere quieter. I think he was right."

"So you like it here?"

"Bit hot, but nice."

She looked at him through salt-crusted eyelashes. "You wanta go in t'town and getta ice cream?" she asked hopefully.

"I'm here with family, I don't have…"

"It's cool. I got Dad's ute for my board."

He shouldn't. He didn't know her from Eve. "Sure. Sounds good."


	23. In Huskisson

In Huskisson

**This is turning into a series. Still Beckett/OFC.**

* * *

Butler was following them. Beckett supposed that was a sensible precaution, but he couldn't help feeling somewhat miffed. Annalise swung into a parking spot on the village's high street, and they hopped out.

"Don't forget to lock the door. It's old and doesn't have central."

Beckett was privately rather surprised the truck was still functional, it looked like it pre-dated him. You had to _wind_ the window down manually.

"You're the local. Where to?"

"My cousin Sam's shop. He's really good."

"M'lady," he said, and offered her his elbow.

She laughed, and took it, towing him towards the store.


	24. Sam's Ice Creamery, Monday

Sam's Ice Creamery, Huskisson, Monday.

* * *

Sam looks up at the tinkle of the door's bell. Customers. No, it's Annalise, and some white boy.

"Morning, Sam."

"You're not dripping all over my floor?" he asks.

"No." She looks damp, but not drippy.

"Where'd you get the boy from?"

"Hyams Beach. He was watchin' me surf. He's from _Dublin_, thought I'd show him the best ice cream in the state."

Sam laughs. "Flatterer."

"Just biased. Family always is."

He serves them, rum-and-raisin for her, espresso for him.

"That'll be $5."

They both go for their wallets.

"Don't patronise me," she warns.

"My family are millionaires."


	25. Sam's Ice Creamery, Wednesday

Sam's Ice Creamery, Huskisson. Wednesday

**Double drabble again.**

* * *

Sam looks up at the tinkle of the door's bell. Customers, an older lady, and a little girl in an enormous hat and a kaftan that could probably fit the lady.

"G'day, what'll it be for youse ladies t'day?" he asks.

"Could I please have the tropical sorbet, just one scoop," the lady replies in an Irish accent, like the boy Annalise brought in Monday. She bends to pick up the girl so she can see. "What would you like Flora?"

"Bubblegum please, Grandma."

"Hot enough for ya?" Sam asks as he scoops ice cream into cones.

"It's rather _too_ hot," she replies. "Flora's mother hasn't been outside in the daytime since we arrived, and I honestly don't know why I allowed my younger children to talk us all into coming. It's beautiful, but we should have come in winter."

"Why d'ya think I run an ice cream'ry?" He puts the second cone into the holder. "That'll be $6.50."

She rummages in her purse and extracts a twenty, nearly hands it to him, but then swaps it for a ten.

"Sorry," she explains as he makes change, "you have the colours of tens and twenties around the wrong way here."


	26. Half Truth

Half Truth

* * *

"Millionaires? Seriously?" Annalise took a lick of her ice cream, and tilted her face into the sea breeze.

"Do you know the name 'Fowl'? Artemis is mostly likely to sound familiar."

"That kid who just disappeared and reappeared with no explanation, back in the noughties?"

"Yeah. That's the brother I thought was being boring."

"So, what did happen?"

"I was very small when he returned, and I was never told. I'm _supposed_ to just say it's a family matter, and ask you to respect our privacy." Beckett knew what happened from overhearing, but it was true he'd never been told.


	27. Live Long and Prosper

Live Long and Prosper.

**Written in class again. Stupid hyphenated words. OO's word count does it the way I'd do it if I was doing it manually, anyway.**

* * *

Nobody really knew what sort of lifespan an Elf-Human hybrid would have. Despite her Elfin-length gestation, all Flora's other milestones, from first steps, to adult teeth, to menarche were normal enough by the standards of first-world humans.

It was almost heart-breaking for Holly, suggesting as it did that Flora was aging at a practically human rate. She had always half-hoped Flora would age at an Elfin rate, though she understood Flora was too big to live in Haven. Eventually, she lived a very long time for a human, but it would have been a tragically short life for an Elf


	28. Private Ceremony

Private Ceremony

* * *

Not being able to attend Root's recycling had been bad. Not being able to attend her only offspring's funeral because she couldn't get a visa was worse.

There was no screen to watch on. None of the other mourners had any reason to think Flora's mother was still alive, and because she _had_ been expecting Holly, Flora's wishes had been for a quiet, private ceremony, so there would be no cameras to pick up an attendee who looked so suspiciously like Flora's mother. Foaly tried to comfort her, but that just brought to mind Artemis comforting her during Root's recycling.


	29. Should Be In Pictures I

Should Be In Pictures (I)

**Apparently I was in the mood for moody far-future fic today.**

* * *

"The mudmen aren't doing so bad these days, are they? If they do much better, we might be able to go back up there and reintroduce ourselves."

Holly shook her head. "Was there something you wanted, sir?" she asked the Pixie, who was head of one of the bigger film studios.

"The Council's decided to encourage getting films out there that showcase better aspects of humanity. A remake of the B'wa Kell incident film is being written, and there's pretty concrete talk of doing sequels based on later parts of your adventures with him. Skylar Peat's been asked to play Vinyáya, as sort of a tribute to her role in the original picture."

"Not just _action_ movies, I take it."

"In focus they are, but we're planning to work the romance in from the beginning, let People _see_ why you were willing to sacrifice your career for him."

"But I didn't. And he was _twelve_ then."

"You would have, if not for so many friends in so many high places, Commander Short. I have heard there would have been investigations if you weren't _you_. Besides, as I understand it he was still a bit underage when you did become involved."


	30. Should Be In Pictures II

Should Be In Pictures (II)

* * *

The movie was actually pretty good. Unlike the Skylar Peat film, it considered Artemis's sub-plot to be a part of the story, and showed vividly his concern for his father, and not just as a little boy's need for his daddy.

The thought of the romance sub-plot starting so early had discomfited her, but it had been more subtle than she would have believed, Chekhov's gun subtext rather than obvious heroine-gets-the-boy. It wasn't much more romantic than hindsight might make what actually happened, really. Still, who would have thought CG eyes could be so soulful?


	31. Finances

Finances

**Written in class again (naughty girl, I know, but I'm here for the [subject] classes, and find the [other subject] bits _so_ boring). Two linked drabbles.**

* * *

In a small Housing Commission flat in Nowra East:

Annalise groaned and pushed her laptop away from herself. Youth Allowance could only stretch so far, and one of the stretches it couldn't make was frequent marathon phone calls to Ireland. She was in danger of having the landline disconnected for non-payment, and even if she got last month's covered, there was still this month's.

Her phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hey li'l sis," Ern said. "How's things going with Irish sugar daddy?"

She looked at the pile of bills. "Sugar daddy, I wish. Don't s'pose I can come live with you an' Bertie?"

* * *

"Why are you in an Australian bank's online banking?" Artemis asked.

Beckett blushed.

"I thought Fowls didn't steal things any more," he continued.

"I'm not ..."

"I was helping him check up on his little Aussie friend's finances," explained Melissa. "She's currently got twelve dollars in the bank. Australian, which we all know aren't worth much. And her phone bill's overdue."

"So?" Artemis replied.

"So her phone bill consists almost solely of calls to Beckett." Melissa said.

"Pay it for her, then." Artemis said.

"Artemis, she didn't like me paying for ice cream. She'll like _that_ even less." Beckett said.

* * *

**Nowra is a town of some 30 thousand people, about half an hour's drive to the north of the Jervis Bay area, where the Fowls were holidaying when Beckett and Annalise met. Nowra East is a part that's got a l****ot of Housing homes and a bad reputation.**

**Youth Allowance is the name given under the current welfare system to the government payment for jobseekers under 21 and full-time students between 16 and 25 who are from low-income homes.**

**And as sort of a bonus, a descriptive drabble, set on the day they met :**

* * *

Annalise reminded Beckett of Holly, but only a little. She _was_ short, brown and athletic, but those weren't as great a similarity as he would have thought. After all, her skin was honeyed, the lighter parts almost golden in the harsh sun, not nut brown, she was 5'3", not 3'3", and she was a surfer, not a soldier. Her nose was flat, not hooked, her features round, not sharp, and her hair was not an auburn crew cut but mouse-brown, only very slightly red at the ends with sun-bleaching, long, wild, and tangled with sea salt.


	32. Ticket to Ride

Ticket to Ride

* * *

"And now, I'll build from Smyrna to Palermo," Melissa announced, counted four purple cards and two wilds onto the discard pile, smiled happily, and knelt up to lean across the board and put the carriage pieces down along the route.

"Oh, look, I'm down to three carriages," Melissa said smugly. Amelie, Holly, Beckett and Beau made their last moves, and the game was over. They counted up their ticket points, and to nobody's surprise, Melissa had won.

In the room's other corner, Minerva and Artemis were still engrossed in their chess game.

"Can we play Trivial Pursuit next?" Melissa chirped.

* * *

**They're actually playing Ticket to Ride: Europe, but would have made a silly title.**


	33. Classified

Classified

**Double Drabble.**

* * *

_Appeared in the engagement notices in Shoalhaven and Nowra News on 06 May 2032 and South Coast Register on 07 and 10 May:_  
**MCLEOD - FOWL  
**Lisa and Steve McLeod, of Wreck Bay, are proud to announce the engagement of their daughter Annalise to Beckett, son of Artemis and Angeline Fowl, of Dublin. Best wishes and all our love.  
Annalise and Beckett are planning a mid-September wedding, to be held in All Saints Anglican Church, Nowra.

_Appeared in the birth notices of the South Coast Register on 01 and 03 December 2032 and Shoalhaven and Nowra News on 02 December:_  
_**It's a Girl!**  
_Beckett and Annalise Fowl are pleased to announce the early but safe arrival of Beatrice Rose, born on November 15, 2032 in Shoalhaven Hospital, weighing 2932 grams and 47cm long.  
Beatrice is a second great-granddaughter for Koori elder Aunty Melanie Simms. Loving Grandparents are Angeline and Artemis Fowl, of Dublin, and Steve and Lisa McLeod, of Wreck Bay. Also beloved niece to Artemis Fowl, his partner Holly Short, and Melissa Fowl, of Dublin, and Ernest McLeod and Albert Kellett, of Berry; and cousin to Flora Short, 14, Kathryn McLeod-Kellett, 3, and Mitchell Fowl, 18 months.

* * *

**Apologies to anybody who read this before, I only just realised that I'd forgotten to replace my placeholder numbers with accurate ones. : :Facepalm: :**


	34. Consequences of Prejudice

Consequences of Prejudice

* * *

Mulch wanted Artemis and Holly to be happy, he just wished they hadn't decided they needed each other for that. He didn't want to think of two of his friends as disgusting perverts, but they were, and they didn't even have the decency to be discreet about it.

He tried to stay friendly anyway, but it was in his face every moment he was with them. He couldn't tell them, they'd just call him a bigot. He didn't realise how good he'd got at avoiding them until the day Foaly told him Artemis had died and Holly was back underground.


	35. Realisations

Realisations

* * *

It took longer than it should have for someone to realise there was something wrong with Beckett's reading. Because his twin was reading years early, they mistook Beckett's slower pace for normal. It was finally his teacher who noticed, and got him help.

It took longer than it should have for someone to realise Beckett was gifted. He mightn't do undetectable forgeries, but even his sketches sparkled with life that Artemis's flawless canvases never did. Annalise's brother-in-law had contacts in children's publishing, and the first time his family _really_ saw his work was a book about a wombat.


	36. Second Contact

Second Contact

**Series of four; second and third are drabble-and-a-halfs. Inspired by the line about humans almost being ready for The People to reintroduce themselves. Slight post-Artemis Holly/OFC.**

* * *

Holly browsed her mark's books as she waited for her to wake._ Roses of the Shoalhaven: The Life and Times of Beckett and Beatrice Fowl_ caught her eye, and she took it down to see how accurate it was. This was what apparently woke her, and she lunged, half-asleep, for the panic button. Good thing Holly had disabled it.

"I wouldn't, Madame President" she said aloud, the Modern English given by the Gift strange on her tongue when she actually spoke 21st Century English. "They won't believe you if you tell them there was a Fairy in your room."

* * *

"A Fairy?"

The little person put the book down. "I'm Commander Holly Short of the Lower Elements Police, the Fairy police force. I've been instructed to contact you as a preliminary to The People coming back into contact with Humanity. We think you're close to being ready for us again," she said in a clipped military manner. Diane turned on the light to see her better. A sharp, serious, pretty face, greying auburn hair, pointed ears, soldierly bearing, and a jumpsuit that looked like something out of an Early Video Era sci-fi.

"Why ..." she trailed off, too many questions for a middle-of-the-night head. "What were you doing with that book?"

Her bearing softened, a little. "I knew Beckett and Beatrice. I wanted to see what people say about them."

"That was ... Beatrice Fowl was my I'm-not-sure-how-many-greats grandmother."

"I _am_ a Fairy."

* * *

Holly wasn't prepared for how much President Fowl looked like Artemis. The black hair couldn't be from the Fowl line, aside from the distance of the relation, she's Beckett's descendant, and he was blond, but it was still startling.

"However did you know them?" she asked, getting up.

"Beckett's older brother was my lover." Holly picked up the book and activated the search, looking for ... There. A family portrait Beckett had done at 40 or so, there she was, sandwiched between Artemis and Flora. She zoomed in. She was much, much younger, but she was unmistakably herself.

"That's me," she said, pointing.

President Fowl looked between the book and Holly's face, and Holly could see as clear as day in those shrewd blue eyes, that now she truly believed Holly's tale, and wasn't just playing along because Holly was armed and the panic button hadn't worked.

"You're really ... My goodness."

* * *

As if being President wasn't exciting enough, she was given the honour of being first official contact to a non-human intelligence. It might have been more interesting if they were aliens, or at least just claimed Fairy stories were based on them, since they obviously were neither pinkie-sized nor magical, just short and technologically advanced. How did that rule go? Something about advanced technology being indistinguishable from magic.

The Americans and the EU would be extremely jealous when this came out. She wasn't sure what she thought about Commander Short being her great-times-a-lot aunt, though.

* * *

**She comes across as such a dork in that last one. Also, even if you ignore the fact their relation is only by 'marriage', they're only about as related as Aragorn and Arwen.**


	37. In Transit

In Transit

**Double drabble, kinda Melissa/OMC, dependant on Aunt Melissa.**

* * *

The rest of the family were visiting Beckett for Beatrice's christening, but Melissa had a prior engagement in the US, so no Lear Jet, just Aer Lingus. However, the plane had mechanical troubles, and had to land. Right now, she was stranded in an uncomfortable chair in Heathrow, Mitchell asleep beside her, and trying to keep a tight hold on their luggage.

"Oh, isn't he cute?" an American girl of about six squealed practically in her ear. Her long-suffering looking male guardian said "Yes, Debra," and absent-mindedly took the seat opposite them.

"What's his name? What's your name? Where's his daddy?" Debra asked, rapid-fire.

"Debra," her guardian chided her.

"It's all right, I don't mind. I'm Melissa, and this is Mitchell, who doesn't have a daddy."

"Does he want to share mine? Then you could be my Mommy, and he'd be my brother, and..."

"It doesn't work like that," the man said gently, pulling Debra into his lap.

"Wait. Melissa ..." he looked at her luggage. "Fowl?"

She nodded nervously. Being recognised would always scare her a bit.

"Mitchell's ... _the_ baby?"

"Yeah."

"_Wow_. Oh, I'm Victor O'Connell." He stuck out his hand.

The mathematician? Well, colour her impressed.


	38. Areas of expertise

Areas of expertise

**Two closely linked drabbles. Yes, the tense change between them is intentional; for no good reason, but intentional.**

* * *

"I don't think your brother likes me," Victor said.

"He's just annoyed that he spent a week last year trying to disprove your theories, and couldn't. Before, I had thought you were one of his silly pseudonyms and I just wasn't getting the pun."

"So you think it's professional jealousy, and _not_ just being a big brother?"

"Was a very _intense_ week."

Victor raised an eyebrow at Melissa, but said nothing. "So, do you do that? Publish under pseudonyms?"

"No. I've been working on Mitchell since I was eleven, and I'm not a ridiculous polymath like Artemis, just a biologist."

* * *

"'Just a biologist'?" Victor repeats indignantly. "Excuse me, but a very talented biologist who accomplished something nobody else even thought to try before she was thirty. A mother, daughter, sister and aunt. A woman who both my daughter and I have grown quite fond of." He pauses. "And did I mention really pretty?"

She elbows him gently. "You know my work will help more cis-women than trans- ones?" She asks him.

"Only because there are more of them. _You_ know who you did it for."

"Me, myself and I, mostly," she says. "You'll notice I tested it on myself."


	39. Belonging

Belonging

* * *

Beckett had been sitting out on the swing seat in the backyard for a while, but he hadn't realised how late it had got until Holly joined him out there.

"So, how are you liking it here?" she asks quietly. The lawn doesn't look so yellow in the purple of evening, but he knows it is.

"I love Annalise, and her family are good people, but this isn't home, and they're not _my_ family. I don't belong _here, _even though she does and I belong with her."

She looks up at him, suddenly inhuman in the summer twilight. "I know."


	40. Aussie Jingle Bells

Aussie Jingle Bells

**Vaguely based on the Colin Buchanan song of the same title. Double drabble.**

* * *

Beckett sighed. A house full of Fowls, and a house full of McLeods, on the same day. Why had he agreed to this, again? Mum and Dad looking vaguely insulted at the plastic wineglasses, and, worse, Artemis looking _outright_ insulted by them.

Someone's Uncle Bruce, whose he doesn't exactly know, got stuck into the good wine Beckett bought because no Fowl was going to drink wine that came in a box, and fell into the pool. Steve and Ern fished him out, and he seemed to be fine. Sam's drinking it too, but Beckett's fairly certain _Sam_ appreciates the difference as much as he does.

The buffet table includes such delights as burnt sausages, beautifully roasted turkey (thank you, Juliet), slightly undercooked potato salad, Sam's homemade tabouleh, and the day before yesterday's coleslaw still in the supermarket tub (for which he suspects Bertie to be responsible).

Mitchell, Kath, Bea, Sam's daughter, Melissa's boyfriend's daughter, and more kids he can't place at all, are out on the lawn playing Frisbee with Kath's dads' Kelpie-cross-something, and Holly, Flora, Melissa and Bertie are hiding inside from the sun.

On the bright side, Sam and Juliet seem to be getting on well.

* * *

**Charred barbecue, grog-in-a-box, supermarket coleslaw, plastic wineglasses and over-imbibers are all things that show up _my_ family's functions, just to make it clear this is Aussie rural working-class unsophistication in general Beckett is being a snob about. Not that anyone's ever fallen in the pool, but that's because no member of my family has ever had one.**


	41. Aging Gracefully

Aging Gracefully

* * *

When Artemis is 15, people see her as a 'cougar', an older woman with too young a man.

When Artemis is 25, people see equals, despite their other differences.

When Artemis is 35, people see a successful businessman with his pretty young wife and their child.

When Artemis is 45, people wonder if she's 'had work done'.

When Artemis is 55, people assume she's Flora's stepmother, a gold-digger, her own replacement.

When Artemis is 65, people assume she's his younger daughter.

When Artemis is 75, people assume she's Flora's daughter, so terribly upset at the loss of her grandfather.

* * *

**Inspired by Ilex's latest drabble.**


End file.
